When did this happen?

My sicklet kiddos all got better for one week before being hit with pink eye-And then like clock work it passed from kid to kid and is dragging out as LONG as it can possibly last. Fortunately we had recently taken a child in because we thought he had pink eye earlier this year so we are well stocked with meds.

Seth went in for his four month check ups (Four months!?!) and we were told once again that this kid is fat and happy. Which makes me happy-because really, a roly poly baby always brings a smile to my face-especially if he is also incredibly cute and happy.

The weather has cleared for a couple of days and so we have been spending hours at the park. Watching my kids play and intermingle made me realize how much they are growing.

I have been having bittersweet feelings about MD the last couple of days as I have watched him play and laugh. When did this boy grow into a kid? How much longer will he look to me as the most important person in his life? It feels premature to feel like I am mourning the loss of his childhood when he is only four. He is changing in front of my eyes and growing into a thinking individual who can make decisions without wanting help. I don't want him to stop growing, however I would like to be able to go back to moments where I can hold him as a baby and rock him to sleep. I want to be there again when he learned to ride his bike or hold him tight when he went from being the only child to a big brother. I sound sad don't I? Really I am happy and sad at the same time-bittersweet...When did this happen? I feel like I missed a crucial moment when MD decided he was ready to think without me and I am not ready to give it up....

Hyrum is also growing and changing...This amazing child seems to be in the opposite stage as MD. It seems like he is here with his hand in mine asking me to tell him the way the world is. He trust me entirely that I will not lead him in the wrong direction. What complete love and faith he shows to me and I feel at a loss.

My husband bought me a mini van. While this action might seem a little odd to be bringing up these questions, as I drove home in the van from the dealership I thought to myself " When did this happen? How did I jump from being a newly wed to here in such a short amount of time?" Again it sounds like a sad question, but really it is more a feeling of being overwhelmed. So much has happened in 5 short years that I still sometimes feel like my head is whirling. And when I say so much I mean so much GOOD has happened. I have entered a different stage of life without completely realizing it..:)