To Remember

I have realized that to love a child is to leave yourself vulnerable. Growing up I had a couple of close friends but mostly I had buddies who were wonderful but who I never kept in contact with after high school. My true best friend was my mother who loved me when I was 10 and writing her hate mail, Held me when my feelings were hurt and rallied to my defence, reminded me of the person I could be and never belittled who I actually was, and became one of the few people who have left an impression so deep that many of my decisions I make I do with my mothers example on my mind. I couldn't have left her confidences for anyone but my husband and as much as I love her I now realize how much more she must love me.

MD has been sick since we came back from our Labor day weekend. I attributed it to him catching the flu-he had all the symptoms: 102 fever, aches and chills, no appetite and exhaustion. I wasn't worried to much about him because we were keeping him hydrated and I knew that there wasn't too much we could do for him anyway. We let MD watch all the TV and drink all the juice that he wanted and just waited. He was miserable. He wanted me to hold him whenever he was awake and started sleeping in our bed with us but he kept getting more irritable and inconsolable. On Thursday I notice every once in awhile he would complain about his head hurting but then he would fall back to sleep almost immediately. That night he received a blessing and it him that we would know if we needed to take him to the Hospital and that if we did his doctors would be inspired.

The next day we had family stop by and about an hour into their visit MD comes crying into the room clutching the back of his head and crying for us to help him and that his head hurt. Michael and I decided to take him to the hospital then.

In the hospital they admitted us and sent us to a room. A couple of minutes after a nurse came in to learn more about MD's symptoms we were sent to another room because they were afraid MD had meningitis and his current nurse had health conditions where she couldn't treat him. After the doctor came in he checked MD out, narrowed his problems down to three possible causes and sent us to get a cat scan, and then after the scan he was going to send MD in for a spinal tap.

After the cat scan the doctor came in and told us they found cellulitis underneath MD's tonsils that appeared to be in the early stages which meant we could take antibiotics for it instead of having surgery to drain the abscess. The doctor ordered another cat scan to be sure. The cat scan came back positive and we were sent home with Antibiotics to fight the abscess with a follow up with an ENT doctor.

I had had a melt down right before we took MD to the hospital, which surprised me but I felt so helpless watching my little boy roll around crying and not being able to relieve his pain. It hurt to watch him hurt and I have realized that I am much more cued in on my children's emotions then I have ever been with anyone else.

While we were at the Emergency room MD and Hyrum had SO many fights (Once MD was on medicine) it drove us CRAZY! Here is the gist of one of them

Hyrum holding onto MD's toy ball
H:Bahh!
MD:NO ball!
H:BAHH!!
MD:NO BALL!
H:BAHHHHHH!!!!!
(Both are screaming at this point)
MD:NO BALLLLLLL!

H: BAHH!!! BAHH!!! BAHH!! BAHH!! BAHH!!! BAHH!!!
Me: STOP it both of you!

They fought the rest of the night and the whole way home-until MD's medicine wore off then he just mumbled at Hyrum while Hyrum goaded him on.

Yesterday during a good moment for MD when his meds kicked in
Its funny because Hyrum LOVES his big brother but lately he has become MD's biggest antagonist-and he loves that role :)