Late July 4th

t is usually really hard for me to post about holidays. For one thing I never know what to say, and another I never do anything really that I feel like is worth documenting-especially without my husband here to help celebrate. Most holidays fall to the side. Some I even choose to ignore.


Tonight as I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep my mind started unwinding and I found myself getting so emotional over what is going on in this war. Not having my husband here to talk to to help me unwind and go to sleep I found myself crying and thinking a couple of things. One I miss my husband-At night it is the worst and then I ache for him. I don't enjoy falling asleep alone or thinking out conversations that I would like to talk to him about just to put it into an email the next morning. But Another feeling came quickly pushing these others away. It was how extremely proud I am of my husband. This is by far the hardest thing I personally have ever had to go through but I would not change what we are doing and what he is accomplishing. Sometimes I think of those in Afghanistan as more of a group and not individuals and so it makes them and their problems less real to me-not as personal and until my husband was sent to be with those people I never separated them into individuals with families like mine. I might not agree with everything that is going on, but when I think of families like my own with so much less, and not even the freedoms I get to enjoy I am grateful that my husband is over there fighting for their freedom. i am grateful that he is sacrificing his time and his family so that their families can experience the same things I take for granted every day. I am grateful that his testimony is strong and his heart is kind. I am grateful he loves his Country and his God and I am proud to be his wife and I am proud that he stepped up and did something that most people don't do these days.
My respect for soldiers and their families has grown considerably. I am grateful for good examples of Army wives that help me structure my life in a bearable way to keep me from falling to pieces. I am grateful for the support of both of my extended families that have stepped up and have pulled me into their arms while my husband can't. Lately I have cried every time I hear a Patriotic song-I truly am Proud to be an American! And most of all I am grateful for the overwhelming feeling of love and peace I get from my Heavenly father whenever I feel unable to stand it another day.